Why Flexibility Isn’t Just Physical - It’s a Mindset
April 28, 2025
When you hear the word "flexibility," what comes to mind?
Maybe you picture someone touching their toes, sliding into the splits, or even a contortionist folding their head between their ankles. While all of these are impressive feats, flexibility is so much more than a physical ability — it's an exercise that strengthens your mind.
My fascination with flexibility began somewhat unexpectedly when I was 21 years old. I was sitting at home with my roommates when I noticed one of them lounging on the floor in the strangest position: legs bent, knees out to the sides, hips flat on the ground.
Curious, I tried to copy her. I knelt down, scooted my feet out beside my hips... and hovered a good 6–8 inches above the floor, grimacing in pain.
I asked her how she could sit like that so easily, and she simply shrugged: "I’ve always sat like this."
That moment sparked something in me. I decided to make it my goal to sit in that position — no matter how long it took.
For the next month, every time we hung out, I practiced. I would lower myself as far as I could, lean on the coffee table for support, and just sit. I had heard somewhere that flexibility training shouldn’t hurt — if it does, it’s counterproductive. So I trusted gravity and let time do the work.
It was uncomfortable, and getting up afterward was even worse. But little by little, something changed. And one day, almost a month later, I finally sat flat on the ground.
The feeling of accomplishment was incredible — honestly, better than getting into college.
From that moment, I was hooked. First that sitting position, then front splits (on both sides), side splits, backbends... and eventually, my curiosity led me to yoga YouTube videos, and later to contortion training.
Brittany Spears in the “W sitting position” (Aka, the funky position)
Flexibility Plants Seeds That Grow
It might have seemed like a small thing at the time — sitting in a funky position — but it planted a seed that's been growing ever since.
Two years ago, that seed sprouted into my contortion journey, where everything I had learned about patience and practice was pushed to a whole new level.
In contortion, rushing isn't just ineffective — it's dangerous. Every deep bend, every intense position demands not just strength, but a mindset of patience, trust, and resilience.
I’ll say this a million times: my flexibility, yoga, and contortion journey has given me so much more than “cool party tricks.”
The biggest gifts have been patience, resilience, and humility.
In fact, I can't even count how many times I’ve worked toward a goal — whether it was touching my toes in a handstand or reaching my head with my toes — and failed.
(And trust me, training doesn’t always look graceful. I've fallen over, tripped on my own limbs, and even accidentally farted or burped from rolling onto my stomach too quickly! 🙈)
The truth is:
Learning flexibility isn’t glamorous.
It’s not Instagram-perfect.
And it’s not supposed to be.
Social media often makes yoga and fitness look effortless and flawless, but behind every “perfect” pose are hundreds (if not thousands) of messy, frustrating, humbling attempts.
That’s what real growth looks like — and that’s what builds real strength inside and out.
Why Flexibility Matters Beyond the Mat
Training flexibility — whether through yoga, contortion, or simple daily stretching — will transform far more than just your body.
It will spill into every part of your life.
When you learn to stay patient through a frustrating stretch, you’ll find it easier to stay patient at work.
When you keep trying a pose you failed yesterday, you’ll build the resilience to keep trying in your relationships, your projects, your dreams.
When you embrace the discomfort of slow growth, you'll find it easier to trust the process everywhere else.
Today’s world tells us that if something isn’t easy or convenient, it’s not meant for us.
But real success — whether it’s in flexibility, business, love, or life — usually comes after you’ve failed, doubted, fallen down, and gotten back up again.
(And hey — as someone who failed Calculus 1 twice before passing, I’m living proof.)
Since truly dedicating myself to my flexibility training, I’ve noticed profound changes in myself:
I’m not so quick to buy things impulsively.
I don’t get as upset when someone cuts me off in traffic.
I have more patience with myself and with others.
And all of it started with sitting awkwardly on the floor, just trying to reach the ground.
Me, practicing my side splits in San Diego, CA
Every Step Matters (Even the Wobbly Ones)
One of the most important things flexibility has taught me is that every step counts.
There was no one defining moment that made me "flexible" — no magical day when everything clicked.
Every wobble, every adjustment, every tiny gain was crucial.
Trying that funky seated position led me to try splits. Splits led me to try backbends. Backbends led me deeper into yoga and contortion.
Each step was necessary to take the next.
So if your first goal is just to touch your toes — treat it like it’s the ultimate goal.
Celebrate every inch you move forward, because you never know what passions and possibilities it might unlock.
How to Take Your First Step
"But how do I take the first step?!" I'm so glad you asked! The truth is, the first step looks different for everyone. If you already have a flexibility goal in mind, start there. Pay close attention to how your body feels during practice — it will guide you better than anything else.
You can use this simple journal prompt after each session to reflect:
“Today, I worked on _______________. These parts of my body felt uncomfortable: ______________. These parts of my body felt relaxed and strong: ______________.”
From there, focus on the areas that felt uncomfortable. For example, if your goal is to touch your toes but your hamstrings feel tight and painful, you can incorporate hamstring-focused stretches like ragdoll pose, seated wide-legged forward folds, and seated forward folds. There are countless variations to explore depending on what your body needs that day!
Reflecting like this helps you build a deeper relationship with your body — not just pushing through discomfort, but learning to listen. Over time, this self-awareness becomes your roadmap. No one, not even me, can tell you what your body needs better than you can.
"But Zoe, what if I don't even know where to start?"
That's perfectly okay too. If you’re unsure, you can use a similar journal prompt, but with an even broader lens:
“Today, these parts of my body felt discomfort or pain: ______________.”
Think about your whole day. Did your wrists ache after typing on the computer? Were your hips or knees sore after standing for long periods? Often, pain is simply the body's way of signaling that an area needs more attention — whether through stretching, strengthening, or both.
If your hips are the trouble spot, try half frog pose, butterfly pose, or other hip opener stretches. If it's your shoulders, gentle movements like cat-cow stretches or thread-the-needle can work wonders. Yoga can act like a self-massage — warming up your muscles, releasing tension, and restoring balance, whether you're preparing for the day ahead or unwinding after it.Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
Wherever you are in your flexibility journey, remember:
Your body is your teacher.
No app, no video, no instructor (not even me!) knows your body better than you do.
If you ever feel stuck or unsure about how to move forward, reach out — I’d love to hear where you're at and help guide you.
Don’t be afraid to start, and don’t lose sight of the incredible resilience, patience, and self-trust you’re building along the way.
Your first step is just as important as your final goal.
I’ll be sharing more yoga, flexibility, and mindset tips soon — and if you have a goal you're working on, drop it in the comments! I’d love to cheer you on. 💬✨